Today’s gospel relates a turning point
in Our Lord’s life. All that had gone before – his birth, his childhood, his
teenage years, his public ministry with its healings, debates, and instructions. He carries all of it with him as he enters his “hour,” the hour “for
the Son of Man to be glorified.” The same must happen to all of us. We carry
forward all our life experiences when our hour arrives. These must all be sown
in the ground and covered over like a grain of wheat as happened with Jesus.
Fr. Gabriel, must have experienced this, in a particularly poignant
way. He carried all his life’s experiences with him into his hour with as much
willingness as he could muster, following in the footsteps of his Lord.
Fr. Gabriel’s service to the Lord and his many friends and brethren spanned 90 years and numerous residences. From the deep south of the United States to the halls of Harvard, to the quiet of Spencer, to Rome, Belgium, and beyond – all the while creating friendships and sharing the gifts he had received. It was not always a smooth journey. Fr. Gabriel had an exuberant personality, and keeping up with his absent-minded, professorial ways could be exasperating. For a long period, he was separated from the monastery, and only later reunited with his brothers. He knew well the experience of falling into the ground and dying. In each phase of his life, he experienced the difficulty of separation only to find some new door opening. In the 80s, finally, he gave up the blessings of an academic career in the world and a home in Rome to renew his commitment to the contemplative vocation. He would follow his Lord once again in the beauty and fellowship of Spencer.
The rapid onset of dementia was a particularly painful separation. The lifelong treasures of study, chant, and friendship were slipping out of his hands. And likewise, the treasures which we all experienced in Fr. Gabriel were slipping out of our view as we tried to make out a word of his stream of consciousness, tried to lay hold of some remnant of the Fr. Gabriel we knew. I often wonder whether Fr. Gabriel found himself repeating the words of Jesus spoken in today’s gospel: “I am troubled now.” So much of Fr. Gabriel’s life’s work was being covered by the cloud of dementia. And again: “Yet what should I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’?” But it was for this hour that Fr. Gabriel had embraced anew his monastic consecration. Where his Master was, he was intent on following. If it included the dreaded dementia, so be it. We live in hope and confidence that our heavenly Father will honor Fr. Gabriel for his service to his Son.
So, it is with all those who would
follow the Lord, especially in the monastic way of life. We follow, not
controlling the hour, not controlling how we will fall into the ground and die.
But with confidence and hope, we await the voice of the Father, “I have glorified
my name and I will glorify it again.” May he glorify it again in all of us as
he did in Fr. Gabriel. Dom Vincent's homily for the funeral Mass.
