At conclusion of this morning’s Mass, we prayed that we might have undivided hearts. Later on one monk mentioned that he senses that he cannot “un-divide” his heart on his own. He sees clearly his lack of wholeness and integrity, the reality of his divided heart. And he had the insight that he could only beg the Lord to put his heart right, beg Jesus to heal and put his heart back together the right way. Somehow, he realized it’s all about availability, the continuing desire to follow the Lord with greater purity of heart. Will we accept Jesus’ invitation, beg him for help and accept his healing intervention?
Indeed, we may sense the division in our hearts. We do want Jesus, we want to follow him completely, be his monks. And perhaps some mornings we also want to go backwards, back into a cozy blindness that we imagine might be a comfortable compromise. There are dreams and unfinished agendas that haunt us. But we know it’s too late for that. Too late. We have seen the Lord, experienced his call, felt his healing, his touch. We cannot deny it, though embarrassing as it might be to admit, we might want to sometimes. But Jesus has intruded, interrupted, transformed our lives. And he longs for us to allow him to come closer and closer.
Photograph of the monks in chapter taken by Brother Brian.