Today’s solemnity honors two conversions that underpin the entire foundation of the Church. Two saints who were converted, literally turned around, by their discovery of mercy, better still by their discovery that they were discovered by Mercy in the person of Christ Jesus the innocent victim, who though he has suffered and died for his people’s sinfulness comes back from the dead without recrimination as forgiving victim. In fact he absolutely refuses not to forgive. This continues to astound and unnerve us just as it did Peter and Paul. Because if God will not punish us, we often try to figure out ways to punish ourselves because of our guilt. But God in Christ will have none of that. None of it. He returns from the dead full of wounds and speaks only, “Peace.” It does not mean nothing happened, too much has happened; sin has made a horrendous mess of his body, but forgiveness is more powerful. This is the confusing grace and ridiculous truth that both Peter and Paul experience in Christ. And we are invited as Church to find ourselves as they did, within the overwhelming reality of a wounded, resurrected and forgiving God.
Peter says he is ready to die with Jesus; then betrays him in a heartbeat to save his skin. “Wait a minute; you’re one of that Galilean’s followers,” says the maid in the high priest’s courtyard. “I’d know that accent anywhere.” “Get out of here,” Peter mutters. “I don't know who you’re talking about.” Meanwhile, Jesus is next door being slapped, ridiculed and roughed up by soldiers. Regret over this will break Peter’s heart. But the risen Jesus will appear to him first of all the disciples, without any hint of blaming. And later he will forgive Peter over breakfast at another charcoal fire on a beach, as he gratefully receives Peter’s confession, “Lord, you know well that I love you.” Peter’s heart has been transformed.
And Paul. Well, as an expert in the Law, he knows that Jesus the blasphemer has been rightly executed for leading the people astray. So he has been ruthlessly tracking down Jesus' followers, dragging them from their homes to prison and persecution, and most recently cheering on those who stone the deacon Stephen. But soon during a journey northeast to Damascus, in a blinding light the resurrected Jesus will introduce himself to him with a heartbreaking question, “Saul, why do you persecute me?” The God who is purely and unambiguously love has raised this Jesus from the dead; the Law has been fulfilled and radically eclipsed in the person of Jesus the forgiving victim. Paul the angry persecutor becomes Paul the messenger of grace.
Peter and Paul have hurtled headlong into divine Mercy. And so they must revise their whole lives; for a deeply affective personal love for Christ now grounds their entire existence. They have fallen in love. Their encounter and ongoing relationship with Jesus have transformed, reformed them. And it is this radical reprioritization that gives such power and authenticity to their preaching and ultimately leads them most willingly, even joyfully to suffer the loss of all things even their very lives for Christ’s sake. Paul will say it best, “All I want to know is Christ Jesus and him crucified and the power flowing from his resurrection.” Surely Peter would agree.
Today we celebrate with joy what mercy can accomplish in hearts emptied, made available to Christ because of bitter self-knowledge. Neither Peter nor Paul have anything to boast about but their dependence on Christ. For Peter and Paul, as for each of us, the resurrected Innocent Victim will always be “made present to us as forgiveness.” Willing at last to admit that we have reached the limits of our own prowess and possibilities, we no longer need to “fortify ourselves against” our own shabby embarrassing truth. Perhaps then with our hearts broken open, we will be ready to surrender like Peter and Paul, finally able to make ample space for the incomprehensibility of grace, because we realize that we like them have nothing to boast about except our dependence on Christ Jesus.
Finally, Jesus’ question to Peter and to each of us in this morning’s Gospel, situates us with him, poised to listen to our Master as he whispers this most compelling question, “Who do you say that I am? Who am I for you? What is your experience of me in your life, in your history?” What will each of us answer? Perhaps when we come to understand ourselves as sinners desperately beloved by God in Christ and found by his mercy incessantly, then with Peter we can say, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” For as forgiving victim, Jesus, ever marked by his wounds, has radically reinterpreted and expanded the meaning of Messiah.
He, who is our Lord and Master, invites us once again to feast on his Body and Blood.
