The most important thing of all
to him was that he knew himself to be loved by Christ. Enjoying this
love, he considered himself happier than anyone else; were he without it, it
would be no satisfaction to be the friend of principalities and powers. He
preferred to be thus loved and be the least of all, or even to be among the
damned than to be without that love and be among the great and honored.
To be separated from that love
was, in his eyes, the greatest and most extraordinary of torments; the pain of
that loss would alone have been hell, and endless, unbearable torture. So
too, in being loved by Christ he thought of himself as possessing life, the
world, the angels, present and future, the kingdom, the promise and countless
blessings. Apart from that love nothing saddened or delighted him; for nothing
earthly did he regard as bitter or sweet.
Paul set no store by the things that fill our visible world, any more than a man sets value on the withered grass of the field. As for tyrannical rulers or the people enraged against him, he paid them no more heed than gnats. Death itself and pain and whatever torments might come were but child’s play to him, provided that thereby he might bear some burden for the sake of Christ.
Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio, Conversion on the Way to Damascus, oil on canvas, 1600-01, Cerasi Chapel, Santa Maria del Popolo, Rome. Quotation by Saint John Chrysostom.
