Sunday, August 23, 2020

Who He Is, Who I Am

Jesus’ question to Peter, to each of us in this morning’s Gospel, situates us with Peter poised to listen to our Master as he whispers this hauntingly beautiful question to each of us in the depths of our hearts, “Who do you say that I am? Who am I for you? What is your experience of me in your life, in your history? How do you experience me now?” What will we answer? Perhaps when we come to understand ourselves as sinners in need of mercy and desperately beloved by God in Christ, then with Peter we can say, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God. To whom else could we go?” 

Once again, this morning we set ourselves up for a “collision of desires” - our desperation, our desperate, pitiable need for forgiveness on a collision course with Jesus’ desperate desire to forgive and heal and console us. And of all things it is somehow our sins, our failures that give us kinship with our wounded Lord. For the “failure” of Jesus, the failure of the Cross is our only hope. And when we eat the Bread and drink the Cup, we proclaim with every fiber of our being that Mercy has found us, that we have been empowered by his forgiveness because love is always more powerful than death. 

This tender love and relentless rescue of Jesus make our foolish failures almost worth it. And we are meant to be icons of this rescue, our very selves, revelations of what Christ’s ongoing merciful rescue can accomplish, if we will give him the least bit if access to our broken hearts. We welcome him with our need for him. As monks this means constant awareness of our foolishness and poverty; constantly, joyfully remembering who I really am. Our life of incessant prayer requires incessant awareness of this poverty. This is after all the best way to receive the Holy Communion he offers us at the altar. 

All I want is to know you, Lord Jesus and the power flowing from your resurrection. Everything else is rubbish. You are all that I desire. You are my love, my fortress, my stronghold, my rescuer, my rock, the God who shows me love.